Still more word plays

More fun word plays from a friend on fb :)

The Dentist's Hymn — Crown Him with Many Crowns

The Weatherman's Hymn — There Shall Be Showers of Blessings

The Contractor's Hymn — The Church's One Foundation

The Tailor's Hymn — Holy, Holy, Holy

The Golfer's Hymn — There's a Green Hill Far Away

The Politician's Hymn — Standing on the Promises

The Optometrist's Hymn — Open My Eyes That I Might See

The IRS Agent's Hymn — I Surrender All

The Gossip's Hymn — Pass It On

The Electrician's Hymn — Send The Light

The Shopper's Hymn — Sweet By and By

The Realtor's Hymn — I've Got a Mansion, Just Over the Hilltop

The Massage Therapist's Hymn — He Touched Me

The Doctor's Hymn — The Great Physician

And a few more for those who like to speed:

45 mph — God Will Take Care of You

55 mph — Guide Me, O Thou Great Jehovah

65 mph — Nearer My God to Thee

75 mph — Nearer Still Nearer

85 mph — This World Is Not My Home

95 mph — Lord, I'm Coming Home

and over 100 mph — Precious Memories

More word plays

I got these recently from a fb friend.  Thanks, Carol! :)


I tried to catch some fog. I mist.

When chemists die, they barium.

A soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.

I know a guy who’s addicted to brake fluid. He says he can stop anytime.

How does Moses make tea? Hebrews it.

I stayed up all night to see where the sun went. Then it dawned on me.

This girl said she recognized me from the vegetarian club, but I’d never met herbivore.

I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I can’t put it down.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. It was a play on words.

They told me I had type A blood, but it was a type O.

PMS jokes aren’t funny. Period.

Why were the Indians here first? They had reservations.

Class trip to the Coca-Cola factory. I hope there’s no pop quiz.

Energizer Bunny arrested: Charged with battery.

I didn’t like my beard at first. Then it grew on me.

What do you call a dinosaur with an extensive vocabulary? A thesaurus.

When you get a bladder infection, urine trouble.

What does a clock do when it’s hungry? It goes back four seconds.

I wondered why the baseball was getting bigger. Then it hit me!

Broken pencils are pointless.

More word plays - authors

Tolstoi
by Warren Peace

The Commuter
by Jocelyn Train

Rocks Ahead
by Vera Way

At The Eleventh Hour
by Justin Time

Down South
by Louise Yanner

Peek-a-Boo
by I. C. Hugh

Spoil The Child
by Molly Coddle

The Tightrope Walker
by Betty Falls

Make 'em Laugh
by Joe King

Campanology
by Belle Ringer

Take Stock
by Russell Steers

Will He Or Won't He?
by Mae B. Sew

Triumphal Procession
by Victor E. March

Is It Love?
by Midas Wellbee

More word plays - authors

Bliss
by Trudy Light

Drafts
by Isadora Jarr

Is It Love?
by Midas Welby

The Singer
by Barry Tone

The Void
by M. T. Ness

The Accused
by Watts E. Dunn

Don't Ask Me
Howard I. Know

The Bouncing Bullet
by Rick O'Shay

I'll Follow
by Hugo First

That Can't Be Right
by Shirley Knot

Religion
by Abel Lever

English Breakfast
by Chris P. Bacon and Ann Negg

Urban Areas
by Bill Tupp

Primitive Transport
by Orson Cart

More word plays

She's happy to make a pair of pants for you, or at least sew its seams.

Those who jump off a Paris bridge are in Seine.

The dead batteries were given out free of charge.

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off? He's all right now.

A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.

A cardboard belt would be a waist of paper.

He said I was average - but he was just being mean.

It's a fact, taller people sleep longer in bed.

Did you hear about the fire at the circus? The heat was in tents.

You feel stuck with your debt if you can't budge it.

She was the apple of his eye and he liked to sit down be cider.

If you leave alphabet soup on the stove and go out, it could spell disaster.

In a recession, the most secure job is garbage-man. Business is always picking up.

A thief who stole a calendar got twelve months.

If a judge loves the sound of his own voice, expect a long sentence.

The primary responsibility for a child's education is apparent.

The liquor store advertised, 'We De-Liver.'

Seven days without a pun makes one weak.

Word plays - Authors

Sorry!
by Anna Poloji

Big White Bird
by Albert Ross

That's Life
by Cilla Vee

The Building
by Eddy Fiss

Prehistoric Reptiles
by Dinah Soar and Terry Dactyl

Where's My Hat?
by Sonia Head

Continental Breakfast
by Roland Coffy

Frankenstein Meets Dracula
by Horace Tory

King Kong
by Hugh Jape

The Man On The Ledge
by Willy Jump

The Open Window
by Eileen Doubt

Arithmetic Simplified
by Lois Carmen DeNominata

D-Day
by Norman D. Landing

How To Apologize
by Thayer Thorry

What's Up Doc?
by Howie Dewin

Don't Give Up
by Percy Vere

Word plays

Egotist: One who is me-deep in conversation.

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

The man, who fell into an upholstery machine, is fully recovered.

Archaeologist: A man whose career lies in ruins.

Every calendar's days are numbered.

How did the pig with laryngitis feel? Dis-gruntled.

When a clock is hungry, it goes back four seconds.

For as long as I can remember, I've had amnesia....

Those, who get too big for their britches, will be exposed in the end.

What do you call three rabbits in a row, hopping backwards simultaneously? A receding hareline.

A backwards poet writes inverse.

A chicken crossing the road is poultry in motion.

A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.

A bicycle can't stand on its own because it is two-tired.

With her marriage, she got a new name and a dress.

Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft, and I'll show you A-flat minor.

He often broke into song because he couldn't find the key.