Sunday, January 22, 2012

Doesn't anybody care?

Years ago our family had gotten together to play a game called Nerts. No one was talking, but everybody's hands were flying all over the table trying to get their cards onto the right pile before someone else beat them to it. Then, out of the quiet my mother forlornly said, "I'm stuck. Doesn't anybody care?" Well she had broken everyone's concentration. The game abruptly stopped and everybody laughed uproariously. And if I remember correctly, she had gone on to win, too. (Nice ploy, Mom.) My mother has always been good at playing Nerts. (If you've never played before, it's a bit like everybody playing the game of Solitaire all at the same time.)

Whatever our mood—happy or sad—the most comforting thing is to have someone who really tries to understand and who cares. This is what Paul is talking about in Romans 12:15:

Rejoice with those who rejoice, and weep with those who weep.

It's a wonderful verse on Christian sympathy.

We've all been there. We feel completely down. Life just hasn't been going how we want it to go. But when a friend notices we're depressed and asks what's wrong and shows real concern, all of a sudden our load seems a little lighter. But if that friend instead comes back with that always-helpful response, "Cheer up!", it doesn't help very much at all.

Or how about when we're really excited about something—like we've just gotten a big promotion or one of our children is getting married. We're riding high and loving life. And when we spot a friend, give them the big news, and they're just as excited as we are, we feel even better yet. But if that friend says instead, "Oh, that's nice. What do you think of my new shoes?", all our excitement goes down the drain, right?

We do not comfort others by merely being up-beat, nor celebrate with someone in happy circumstances by being "a wet blanket." Sympathy is a sharing, an understanding, of another's feelings. In fact, Rom 12:15 is the outworking of what we find in I Cor 12:26 regarding the Body of Christ:

And if one member suffers, all the members suffer with it; if one member is honored, all the members rejoice with it.

And when we go on to Rom 12:16, we see it naturally follows:

Be of the same mind toward one another...

In other words, let love and trust and sympathy and interest be mutual.

Do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others (Phil 2:4).

This is most important because we tend to be self-centered, taking little interest, if any, in the things that concern others. In one sense, it is easier to weep with those that weep than to rejoice with those that rejoice because it is natural to sympathize with pain. However, it requires much more of us to rejoice in the joy of others.

Verse 16 of Romans 12 continues on, saying:

Do not be haughty in mind, but associate with the lowly. Do not be wise in your own estimation.

"Haughty in mind" is pride and conceit. And "Do not be wise in your own estimation" is the climax to the preceding exhortations. In fact, being wise in our own estimation is one of the greatest hindrances to unity among believers.

But even if everybody else does desert us, the Lord is always faithful. He always cares! His comfort is always available to us through the Holy Spirit and through Scripture.

We can see from Ps 23:3a that David knew encouragement from the Lord:

He restores my soul.

And Paul certainly knew this same comfort:

And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus (Phil 4:7).

And I can tell you about this comfort and peace, too. Over the past couple of years I have struggled with family, health, and life-in-general difficulties that are common to everybody. At times I have gotten so frustrated that in desperation I have cried out, "Lord, "I'm so completely overwhelmed, I just don't know what to do or where to go from here."

It's almost as if He waits for us to come to the end of ourselves and to depend totally on Him before He makes His presence known, because it is at those times I have felt the Holy Spirit's peace within me. And it's so real that I can only describe it as a wave of comfort engulfing me. I still didn't have the answers to any of my problems, but at those moments I knew—really knew—that I wasn't facing my struggles alone. I had been restored with a peace I certainly didn't understand. Since then, some of the pieces have fallen into place, and at the same time my faith has grown stronger. In fact, these experiences have confirmed in my mind even more that His Word is true and His care, constant.

Why in the world did I think I could
Only get to know you when my life was good
When everything just falls in place
The easiest thing is to give You praise

Now it all seems upside down

‘Cause my whole world is caving in
But I feel You now more than I did then
How can I come to the end of me
And somehow still have all I need
God, I want to know You more
Maybe this is how it starts
I find You when I fall apart

Blessed are the ones who understand
We’ve got nothing to bring but empty hands
Nothing to hide and nothing to prove
Our heartbreak brings us back to You

And it all seems upside down

‘Cause my whole world is caving in
But I feel You now more than I did then
How can I come to the end of me
And somehow still have all I need
God, I want to know You more
Maybe this is how it starts
I find You when I fall apart

I don’t know how long this will last
I’m praying for the pain to pass
But maybe this is the best thing that
Has ever happened to me

My whole world is caving in
But I feel You now more than I did then
How can I come to the end of me
And somehow still have all I need
God, I want to know You more
Maybe this is how it starts
I find You when
You will find me when I fall apart

by Josh Wilson

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