Sunday, September 19, 2010

Church bulletin bloopers

"Please place your donation in the envelope along with the deceased person(s) you want remembered."

"Attend and you will hear an excellent speaker and heave a healthy lunch."

"The church will host an evening of fine dining, superb entertainment, and gracious hostility."

"Potluck supper Sunday at 5:00 pm - prayer and medication to follow."

"The ladies of the Church have cast off clothing of every kind. They may be seen in the basement on Friday afternoon."

"Low Self-Esteem Support Group will meet Thursday at 7 PM. Please use the back door."

"Bertha Belch, a missionary from Africa will be speaking tonight at Calvary Memorial Church in Racine. Come tonight and hear Bertha Belch all the way from Africa."

"Ladies, don't forget the rummage sale. It's a chance to get rid of those things not worth keeping around the house. Don't forget your husbands."

"The peacemaking meeting scheduled for today has been cancelled due to a conflict."

"Weight Watchers will meet at 7 PM at the First Presbyterian Church. Please use large double door at the side entrance."
 
"Please remember Marge Smith in your prayers - she will be having an autopsy Thursday morning."

2 comments:

  1. Actual sign posted at FBC in Dover one Sunday: “The finance committee will meet in the Cry Room after the service”

    ReplyDelete
  2. That's a good one! I'm going to add that one to my collection.

    ReplyDelete